Reflecting

Well, this last week was Thanksgiving.. and I ate so much. Lucky for me, most the food was not too bad for me! I weighed in a day late, but ended up losing a pound. Yay!

On Friday after work, I did some quick shopping at Gap because they had all their dress pants on sale. I figured, I might as well grab a size 12 since my 14s are getting a little loose. When I got home, I tried on the 12s... and THEY FIT!!! Its soo crazy!! How am I even losing still?! I've lost several inches off my waist, hips, and thighs. Its so great!

In other news, I recently went to the gym with a friend, and learned a lot of amazing things about metabolism, and things I need to do or should to in order to promote weight loss and muscle building. I didn't realize that having more muscle would help burn off the fat quicker. So I think that its going to be a goal to focus on strengthening myself more than just loosing pounds. I feel like this will be an even better step in the right direction.

I also decided that I think instead of doing a PE class next term, I'm going to use the money to get a gym membership instead. This way I can work out with friends, and I could go the the gym by school or home. Still haven't totally made up my mind, but I'm optimistic.

Old Clothes

Today I have been going through my closet and pulling out all my clothes that I haven't worn in the last several months. I have pulled stuff from this summer, last school year, and even from before that. I grabbed things that are too bright to wear now, dresses that I dont even know why I bought. Some of the clothes I wore probably on a weekly basis. Some of the items I hardly wore at all.

While searching for more and more to get rid of, I was thinking about how much of a relief it was to see some of my larger sized items, and to just get rid of them. I had been holding onto a lot of things that at the time were great finds, like my shorts, and not wanting to get rid of them for the sake of their initial cost, and just in case I stayed the size I am.

But the reality of it is, I never want to be that size again. There is no going back up. It simply is not an option. So with this stack of lovely items in my hand, I tossed them into my giant "going away" back. It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Now, the main reason I am writing this post is because during my clothing purge, I came across a pair of old jeans that I bought probably 2 years ago. I haven't actually worn them in over a year. Curious, I decided to try them on, and what a surprise I recieved! They fit!! Not only did they fit, but there was a little extra room in the waist, and they are actually comfortable on my thighs.

This is especially significant because I honestly have been having a really difficult time with my journey these past few weeks. I have been eating terribly, not exercising nearly as much as I ought to, and not drinking as much water as I should. I felt like I was getting fatter, despite the fact that the scale says I'm maintaining. It is just frustrating to feel so gross with myself because of my poor eating habits, and to feel like I'm failing.

Being able to put on these jeans today was proof to myself that I'm not failing, and that I'm still doing better than I was 3 months ago. Its been a long journey so far, and a tough one, but I weigh 20 pounds less than I did at the beginning of August, and I can't wait to see more weight fall off, and to see myself become a healthy person.

I really hope that each of you, even if you aren't struggling with weight, takes the time to go through your closet when you have a spare moment. Get rid of the things you don't wear anymore. Get rid of the things that are rugged and worn out. And especially get rid of anything that doesn't fit because if its too big, you don't ever want to have to wear it again, and if its too small, you are going to want new things once you get that size again. Just get rid of it! You will feel so much better, and who knows, you might find some treasures like I did.

Happy weekend everyone!

The Stress of Food

Well, to start with, I have finally made it to my 20 lb mark! Hooray! I am down to 210. It feels wonderful to make it so far! And even better to finally get off that 212-213 plateau I was stuck on for so long.

Lately there has been a lot of stress on my mind... mostly about my job, and problems I'm dealing with there. Also about school with the midterms this week. But in addition to that, food has been causing me a large amount of stress. I get so frustrated sometimes trying to figure out what to eat. Half the time I just want to forget about watching my weight, and the other half my time I get so frustrated trying to figure out what to eat that will be filling and good for me, that I either don't eat right then, or eat something I shouldn't be eating.

Of course, the other issue with the food and stress is that stress makes me want to eat even more. It makes me want to eat everything in sight and not stop eating. Obviously that is not the best idea at all. Not for anyone, whether watching weight or not. I keep wondering, when is it going to stop? When will I stop having to think so hard about what I'm eating? When will it all just come naturally?

I don't actually think that point in time will ever come, or at least not for a very long time. So in the meantime, I'm faced with making extremely conscious efforts to try my best to make healthy decisions regarding my food and exercise. The healthier I feel mentally, the healthy my actions are.

That is another reason why this is so frustrating is because being stressed, means I eat worse, which makes me feel worse about myself, then I feel depressed, and then I can't focus on my school work. Stress is probably one of the biggest problems in my life really. I am terrible at managing it.

I guess for now though, I can at least be happy that I'm losing again. Maybe I'll celebrate with a carrot salad for lunch :)

Pants That Fit

One of my favorite parts about this whole weight loss thing, is the way my pants have been fitting (or rather not fitting). When I started, I was comfortably wearing size 16 pants in both my dress pants and my jeans. Actually, I really didn't have jeans because that number bothered me so much.

When I first bought work pants for my current job, size 14 didn't even button without feeling like death, and size 16 fit perfectly. And when I bought my denim capris this summer, again, I couldn't even button the 14's.

Exciting news folk! I now officially fit into 14's again! In both my dress pants, and denim. That is so exciting to me because its been a very long time since I've been able to wear my 14's comfortably. It's also makes me feel so proud that I've made it this small step, and its encouraging to me to keep it up! I know that with continued efforts, I can make it to a fabulous weight and pant size!

So, to smaller pants, eat well!! And stay tuned for my weigh in tomorrow!

Maintaining

Well, this week was the first time since I started my weight-loss that I didn't lose. But more importantly, I'm okay with it.

I think part of the no-loss this week was starting school.. I allowed myself to eat a little more than I had been used to. Also, since I started my exercise class, its possible that that could have some effect on not losing.

But, I still only have to lose 1 lb a week to hit 200 by Christmas. That's pretty exciting!

Also, today I finally bought new work pants.. a size down.. and they mostly fit! I have a little bit of a pudge over the waist of the pants still, but I'm sure that they will be smoothing in another week or so.

Hopefully this week brings about some nice weight-loss results! Happy eating this week!

September Again!

Well, the first day back to school was a success! I was super nervous last night and this morning about my step-aerobics class... I thought I wouldn't get to class on time, I wouldn't be able to find the locker room, I would have a horrid teacher, the class would be crowded, being the only bigger girl in the class, etc etc.

Truth is though, I didn't get there late, I found the locker room just fine, the instructor is fantastic, and to my surprise (and slight relief), most of the people in the class seemed to be in similar situations to mine. They all seemed to be looking for a place and means to exercise and get in better shape, in a way that would keep them accountable.

How perfect was that?

I can't wait to go back again on Wednesday. Everyone was so positive, and I had a great time. I sweated a ton, which surprisingly didn't bother me nearly as much as sweating usually does. Shocking, I know!! I think its because I knew I would be able to shower immediately after class.

The other, very unexpected thing that I enjoyed about my class was that we not only did step, but we also spent a small portion of time focusing on abs, and we will be doing little bits of resistance training, weight training, and other things during the course of the term. This is great since I need to work out my WHOLE body!

Oh yeah, and the best part about the class? The movements involve my arms so they will FINALLY start to get toned again! Super!!

The Value of Measurements

One of the challenging parts of losing weight after being overweight for years, is actually believing in the progress I'm making. I constantly find myself thinking about where I started, and how much I've lost, and questioning if its all real, of if I'm simply making it up.

How can I possibly be succeeding after failing so many times?
How have I actually been able to stay on track for more than a couple weeks?
When am I finally going to give up?

These and other questions flow through my mind often, probably multiple times a day.

What do I do?

This whole process has really forced me to do a lot of self reflection. I mean like really going back. I'm pretty sure that I've always felt like I was bigger than other girls, even back in grade school. It wasn't ever too much of an issue though until I hit 8th grade.
I remember being in band, sitting down and seeing how my legs pancaked out on the chair and being mortified by how chubby they looked. Not long after that, we weighed ourselves in PE and I remember being 5'5" and 125 pounds. I didn't think that was much at all until most the other girls in my class complained about being 120, 115, and sometimes even lower weights. From that point forward my insecurities just kind of got worse and worse.

The sad part about it is that I wasn't overweight at all. I was such a healthy weight. Even looking back at pictures, I looked like a total twig! I was tiny!

Cross Country in sixth grade

But having had that idea of being bigger drilled into my head by seemingly smaller, and highly insecure girls around me, made a huge impact on how I saw myself.

The point I'm trying to make is that I've never felt like I was a small girl, and I've always felt bigger than everyone else. And honestly, the idea of feeling small is so foreign to me, that I'm a little scared. Yep, that's right, I'm scared of losing weight. Being the fat girl has come to be a part of who I am, and I have always accepted that generally speaking, I'm the biggest girl in whatever group of friends I have. The idea of not having that label is a little scary. It is almost like I'm getting rid of part of me.

A nice, solid, 80 (hopefully) pounds of me to be precise.

BUT, let me finally get to the MAIN TOPIC of this post.

The NUMBER ONE THING that has helped me stay true to my weight loss, and believe the number I'm seeing on the scale, is the accompanying measurements that go with it. Each week when I weigh in, I make sure to take the measurements of my waist, hips, thigh, arm, and bust. Its my ensurance that what I'm doing is really working, and that the weight loss is real. I think those results almost make more a different mentally to me than the weight.


I really would encourage anyone that's having issues like me with believing and accepting the progress they have made, to make efforts to measure and record these measurements, because I promise you it will make a difference! Its just one more bit of proof that yes, those parts ARE too big now, and yes, they fit you when you bought them originally!

Keep up the good work everyone, and stay positive!!

Overcoming the On-The-Go Dilema: Snacking

The challenges I am going to talk about today concern snacktime. I LOVE to snack. If I could eat food all day long I would. Unhealthy junk food, of course! lol. Being in school just adds to the temptation of eating. I eat so irregularly, and end up eating often. I also get stressed, and bored, and whatever else I'm feeling at the moment, and tend to use those feelings as excuses to splurge and eat whatever I feel like.

#3: Boredom Snacking
I am the kind of person who likes to eat pretty much no matter what I'm doing. If I am driving to or from work, I like to eat. If I'm off work and watching tv, or on my computer, I like to eat. During the school year, however, I like to eat in class, on my way to class, in between class, etc.
Moral of the story: I like to eat!

Solution
What I started to do in order to combat this unhealthy snacking obsession, was to stock up on snacks that were healthier for me. Or at least not completely bad ;)
I love to keep apples on hand. They are so tasty, take a while to eat, and are fullfilling.
I also like to keep a variety of pre-packaged type snacks, (Those 100 calorie snack packs are 3 pts each!) as well of fruit bars like Kashi ones.

Another thing that I do since I inevitably will end up snacking, if I take this into consideration when planning and eating my other meals during the day. I opt for smaller portions of things to keep the points for those weak moments that I have where I just have to have something to munch on. Pre-planning what I'm going to eat that day also significantly helps make sure I don't exceed my daily points allocated.

#4 Evening Snacking
So nighttime snacking is also a huge weakness. Mostly because I love to relax in the evening. But also partly because I am still new to the whole idea of focusing on my food.
Before now, part of relaxing and enjoying my evening, or any time during the day for that matter, was to take part in some kind of super yummy snack.

Solution
SO, the biggest part of this solution is simply redefining things. I have had to completely rework my behaviors related to snacking. Part of this is simply just learning self control. Its a tough one though. So, once again, my solution for this, is the same as before, by having pre-portioned snacks available, and saving points for the evening.

Of course with any type of snacking, the best advice is to find an alternate activity. So what better to do than to exercise! Did you know an hour of light walking gains you back 5 points? How cool is that! I know it makes me excited!


Well, that's it for today. Tomorrow I will be talking about meal planning, and what I've learned so far that has helped me these last two months!
Healthy snacking!

The Counting Challenge

So the last two days I have been trying pretty hard to focus on recording my points. Accurately. I kind of strayed away from it for a while because I was just eating the same meals over and over and had a pretty good idea of the points.

Its so hard sometimes though to remember to take the time to track them!

However, yesterday I made a revelation that made it so worth it! I absolutely Hillshire Farms lunchmeats. Its my favorite presliced turkey to have on sandwiches. I checked the point value for it, and realized that the turkey only costs me like 2 points for a generous number of slices!

Saaa-weet!

Guess who just put turkey sandwiches back on the menu!! That's right, this girl!

Overcoming the On-The-Go Dilema: Breakfast

Probably my number one challenge during school regarding food, is being lazy about meal planning. I hardly ever take the time out of my day or morning to prepare lunch in advance. Its so costly, and it ends up causing me to over-snack, and over-eat. Of course that isn't the only challenge.

Today I'll share the first two problems, and I'll share more tomorrow! Here goes!

#1 Passing on Breakfast

If you are anything like me, you savor every minute of sleep you can get, especially being a full-time student, having a part-time job, and spending anywhere from 1-2 hours a day driving.

I tend to just speed on past breakfast, and grab coffee on my way out, and maybe a granola bar, or whatever munchies I have laying around.
Now, I'm not saying granola bars are bad, but let's face it. Its soo much better to eat a fullfilling breakfast!

Solution
Lately, I started adding english muffins to my shopping lists.. it only takes a couple minutes to toast, and while its toasting, I cook an egg, add a slice of cheese, and call it good.
If you use a whole wheat english muffin, 1 egg, and a slice of lowfat cheese, its only 7 pts+ on WW. Super simple, and the whole wheat makes it super filling. Of course, I also like to grab an apple, banana, or some other fruit to eat on the way out the door!

#2 Coffee
Ok this is a tough one. Where I work, almost every single girl comes in to work with a Starbucks in hand, and whenever we would go on breaks, we would get more coffee. Of course, with the mochas, iced fraps, and other delicious treats, its hard to stay focused on healthy choices.
Not to mention expensive.

Solution
What I decided to do, was to just flat out make the switch to plain ol coffe. At first it was tough. But it was nice, because I could get a large coffee, and the only points I have to count were the milk or half & half, and the sugar that I added. Of course I also like to add a pump of chocolate sometimes, but its only a couple points total, for a huge drink! Same thing goes with their iced coffee with milk. Keep the sweetener, and its like 3 points for a large (and frankly, much tastier then those Dutch Bros iced drinks I was getting... and they use only a TINY bit of ice!! Bonus!!).
Either choice, its only a couple points as opposed to the 7 and more points for the fancier and pricier drinks.


So that seems to cover my morning issues. Hopefully I have enlightened you somehow! Haha.
Tomorrow I'll be focusing on lunch battles!
If you have any other suggestions for overcoming these, or similar issues, leave them in the comments!

School Is Starting!

Hope everyone's weight watching is going well this week! This is the last weekend before college classes resume again. The biggest challenge for me and my weight-watching while being a student, has been coming up with ideas of what I will eat, and how I can prepare my food in advance and have it still be delicious.

I know personally, being in school is probably the single most challenging thing for me because I use lack of time as an excuse to just buy food to-go constantly.
This behavior is not only a waste of money, but it makes it all too easy to forget to watch what I'm eating, and ensure that I'm eating a balanced diet.

Tomorrow I will be posting some common challenges I face during the school year regarding food, and how I have learned to overcome them!