Well, to start with, I have finally made it to my 20 lb mark! Hooray! I am down to 210. It feels wonderful to make it so far! And even better to finally get off that 212-213 plateau I was stuck on for so long.
Lately there has been a lot of stress on my mind... mostly about my job, and problems I'm dealing with there. Also about school with the midterms this week. But in addition to that, food has been causing me a large amount of stress. I get so frustrated sometimes trying to figure out what to eat. Half the time I just want to forget about watching my weight, and the other half my time I get so frustrated trying to figure out what to eat that will be filling and good for me, that I either don't eat right then, or eat something I shouldn't be eating.
Of course, the other issue with the food and stress is that stress makes me want to eat even more. It makes me want to eat everything in sight and not stop eating. Obviously that is not the best idea at all. Not for anyone, whether watching weight or not. I keep wondering, when is it going to stop? When will I stop having to think so hard about what I'm eating? When will it all just come naturally?
I don't actually think that point in time will ever come, or at least not for a very long time. So in the meantime, I'm faced with making extremely conscious efforts to try my best to make healthy decisions regarding my food and exercise. The healthier I feel mentally, the healthy my actions are.
That is another reason why this is so frustrating is because being stressed, means I eat worse, which makes me feel worse about myself, then I feel depressed, and then I can't focus on my school work. Stress is probably one of the biggest problems in my life really. I am terrible at managing it.
I guess for now though, I can at least be happy that I'm losing again. Maybe I'll celebrate with a carrot salad for lunch :)
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