Reflecting

Well, this last week was Thanksgiving.. and I ate so much. Lucky for me, most the food was not too bad for me! I weighed in a day late, but ended up losing a pound. Yay!

On Friday after work, I did some quick shopping at Gap because they had all their dress pants on sale. I figured, I might as well grab a size 12 since my 14s are getting a little loose. When I got home, I tried on the 12s... and THEY FIT!!! Its soo crazy!! How am I even losing still?! I've lost several inches off my waist, hips, and thighs. Its so great!

In other news, I recently went to the gym with a friend, and learned a lot of amazing things about metabolism, and things I need to do or should to in order to promote weight loss and muscle building. I didn't realize that having more muscle would help burn off the fat quicker. So I think that its going to be a goal to focus on strengthening myself more than just loosing pounds. I feel like this will be an even better step in the right direction.

I also decided that I think instead of doing a PE class next term, I'm going to use the money to get a gym membership instead. This way I can work out with friends, and I could go the the gym by school or home. Still haven't totally made up my mind, but I'm optimistic.

Pants That Fit

One of my favorite parts about this whole weight loss thing, is the way my pants have been fitting (or rather not fitting). When I started, I was comfortably wearing size 16 pants in both my dress pants and my jeans. Actually, I really didn't have jeans because that number bothered me so much.

When I first bought work pants for my current job, size 14 didn't even button without feeling like death, and size 16 fit perfectly. And when I bought my denim capris this summer, again, I couldn't even button the 14's.

Exciting news folk! I now officially fit into 14's again! In both my dress pants, and denim. That is so exciting to me because its been a very long time since I've been able to wear my 14's comfortably. It's also makes me feel so proud that I've made it this small step, and its encouraging to me to keep it up! I know that with continued efforts, I can make it to a fabulous weight and pant size!

So, to smaller pants, eat well!! And stay tuned for my weigh in tomorrow!

The Value of Measurements

One of the challenging parts of losing weight after being overweight for years, is actually believing in the progress I'm making. I constantly find myself thinking about where I started, and how much I've lost, and questioning if its all real, of if I'm simply making it up.

How can I possibly be succeeding after failing so many times?
How have I actually been able to stay on track for more than a couple weeks?
When am I finally going to give up?

These and other questions flow through my mind often, probably multiple times a day.

What do I do?

This whole process has really forced me to do a lot of self reflection. I mean like really going back. I'm pretty sure that I've always felt like I was bigger than other girls, even back in grade school. It wasn't ever too much of an issue though until I hit 8th grade.
I remember being in band, sitting down and seeing how my legs pancaked out on the chair and being mortified by how chubby they looked. Not long after that, we weighed ourselves in PE and I remember being 5'5" and 125 pounds. I didn't think that was much at all until most the other girls in my class complained about being 120, 115, and sometimes even lower weights. From that point forward my insecurities just kind of got worse and worse.

The sad part about it is that I wasn't overweight at all. I was such a healthy weight. Even looking back at pictures, I looked like a total twig! I was tiny!

Cross Country in sixth grade

But having had that idea of being bigger drilled into my head by seemingly smaller, and highly insecure girls around me, made a huge impact on how I saw myself.

The point I'm trying to make is that I've never felt like I was a small girl, and I've always felt bigger than everyone else. And honestly, the idea of feeling small is so foreign to me, that I'm a little scared. Yep, that's right, I'm scared of losing weight. Being the fat girl has come to be a part of who I am, and I have always accepted that generally speaking, I'm the biggest girl in whatever group of friends I have. The idea of not having that label is a little scary. It is almost like I'm getting rid of part of me.

A nice, solid, 80 (hopefully) pounds of me to be precise.

BUT, let me finally get to the MAIN TOPIC of this post.

The NUMBER ONE THING that has helped me stay true to my weight loss, and believe the number I'm seeing on the scale, is the accompanying measurements that go with it. Each week when I weigh in, I make sure to take the measurements of my waist, hips, thigh, arm, and bust. Its my ensurance that what I'm doing is really working, and that the weight loss is real. I think those results almost make more a different mentally to me than the weight.


I really would encourage anyone that's having issues like me with believing and accepting the progress they have made, to make efforts to measure and record these measurements, because I promise you it will make a difference! Its just one more bit of proof that yes, those parts ARE too big now, and yes, they fit you when you bought them originally!

Keep up the good work everyone, and stay positive!!